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Helping Your Cats with Grief

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Today it has been a week since we said goodbye to our sweet Felix. Ever since the first day Linus, Coco, and Inca came to our house, Felix was part of their lives. We know the loss has impacted him as it has us.

Each took the loss in a different way. Inca wouldn’t come downstairs except to eat and go to the litterbox; she spent all her time in the office, lying in Felix’s favorite spots. She wouldn’t even come downstairs at bedtime to sleep with us, which was always her ritual.

Coco didn’t seem off her routine but Linus was, acting out with barbering (pulling out hair and spitting it, a problem we’ve had with him in the past). He was adopted just one month after Felix so I had expected that he would take the loss the hardest.

We’re happy to say that the last few days have been better, however. Just yesterday, Linus and Coco were playing and romping through the house. Inca has returned to her usual schedule and has spent the last several nights in our bed.

We know that many of you have gone–or will go–through the same loss so we wanted to share a few tips on what we’ve done this week to help Inca, Coco, and Linus cope with their grief:

  • Maintain your routine. Cats and dogs thrive on routine. We’ve been careful to keep our usual routine in terms of mealtimes, bedtime, and daily work.
  • Do a little pampering. I’ve bought some extra yummy treats this week and been dispensing them more often than usual.
  • Provide some extra grooming. Cats groom each other not just for practical reasons but to comfort one another and to relieve stress; follow their lead.
  • Offer something soft and snuggly. I bought a softer than soft baby cushion made from chenille at the thrift store last week and Coco has been snuggled in that since I put it in the chair. Yesterday we got some new self-heating pet beds from Petmate (stay tuned for a giveaway!) and Linus and Inca have each claimed one!
  • Don’t forget to play. I haven’t been able to pick up Felix’s favorite laser toy (or shoestrings, his favorite to bat around) but have enjoyed playing with a teaser toy with Linus.
  • Consider pheromone products. I’ve plugged in a Feliway diffuser; it emits a synthetic pheromone like that of a nursing mother cat to help calm and relax the cats.

Perhaps, most importantly, we’re all just giving each other time and being here for one another. After all, that’s what family is all about.

Paris Permenter
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